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Women's Basketball: World's Most Complicated Sport (but fun too)

Mar 26, 2013 8:08 pm
HeadAssClown By HeadAssClown
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Of all the major sports that get tv time, women's basketball is probably the one for which the most people have a mental block that prevents them from just relaxing and enjoying.

In my years of watching the sport and attending the games, I have come to some conclusions, but as the title of the article suggests, this is as complicated as hell so please allow me to explain.

What must be understood first is that the culture surrounding girls high school basketball and AAU is much different than college basketball. College basketball is radically different than the WNBA. Girls High School basketball in most cases involves relatively light-hearted games where there are a player or two that stands out from the rest and dominates for their teams. AAU is summer league basketball often involving all-star teams from certain areas, and the State and National Championships are quite competitive and a high-level of play. The players whom star in those tournaments frequently go on to be key players in division 1 college basketball and college coaches attend if NCAA rules allow that week. Still, the AAU Basketball atmosphere is fun and rarely ever venomous.

Enter women's college basketball. I once heard an ESPN commentator say that, "Unlike men's college basketball, there are just a few really good teams each year". That is true, but compare that men's college basketball where there are, in the current era, no really good teams anymore because nearly all the elite players are in the NBA. Women's basketball has the two dynasty programs, Tennesseee and UConn, and many annually competitive and sometimes stellar teams like Notre Dame, Baylor, Stanford, North Carolina, Maryland, and Duke.

Therefore, the key difference in women's college basketball and men's college basketball is that players typically play all four years, including the elite players. This leads to some milestone careers such as Brittney Griner, Skylar Diggins, and Elena Delle Donne are currently building. It builds rivalries and continuity, and allows you to see the players in their primes.

Perhaps the sports are reflections of society's typical views of men's and women's prime years. Women players get the most publicity during their college careers, whereas men's players reach the height of their sports fame in the NBA. College games get more viewers on television, and sometimes have 10,000+ sell-outs of arenas. This is not the rule, but it does happen, and UCONN and Tennessee routinely pack the stands with fans.

When you are judging who the best men's player ever is, it's almost always an NBA-only discussion. When you are arguing over who is the best women's player ever, it involves how many college points they scored and how many national championships they won.

College basketball is also where the politics start. A large number of fans are in it at least as much for a perceived political, civil rights aspect as they are for the basketball itself. It is also widely thought, and not unreasonably so, that a high percentage of the players and coaches are lesbians. Of course, not all of them are as some people like to claim, but you hear some interesting revelations as time goes by. Case in point, Chamique Holdsclaw, the college superstar of the late 90s, was recently involved in a violent altercation with a former girlfriend, who was also a famous player.

Some players have said that they like a certain university because there are separate showers instead of a group shower. There was a story once about a semi-prominent division I coach who reportedly kicked a player off the team just because she was a lesbian. The coach later resigned. If you follow it closely, there are endless stories like this popping up and it is sort of an awkward situation at many universities where half of the fans are LGBT-card holding members and the other half are very conservative religious types.

So, who has next? Oh yeah, how could one forget about the WNBA? After all, they have had about the most successful marketing campaigns ever (not). Their tv commercials are typically, if this can be believed, even worse than the NBA commercials. The ads usually center around trying to cater to male viewers sexually. This makes little sense since the majority of viewers are either women or men who just want it for the basketball. We all know that if you want to get off there are better alternatives than turning on a WNBA game.

Then, there are were other ads which almost insulted and made taunts against the viewer. It's almost like the WNBA is not trying to make money sometimes as much as make a political statement and piss off those people who might not like women's basketball for whatever reason.

There are certainly some ignorant takers of their silly approach, such as Bruce Bowen of the San Antonio Spurs who once said in a WNBA halftime courtside interview, "This is just like a Spurs game!". As stupid as that sounds, it sadly sums up what is wrong with the entire scenario, as this women's basketball league is trying to force fans who just like the NBA to display a fake love for women's basketball. It's obviously never going to work, and the fan base is always going to be primarily composed of females who enjoy playing basketball themselves or watching, some fans of the prominent college teams who like to watch their alumni, and some oddballs like me who just like it for the contradictory nature of it. Despite the vagueness of this article, I really do have an encyclopedic knowledge of it so private message or e-mail me if want proof.

I will conclude by saying that I am glad that there is a WNBA, even though I find it hard to understand how they can lose so much money and still keep going (Yes, I know that the counter-argument is, "It took the NBA a lot of years to start making a profit, as it does any business"). I hope that they can continue to find a way to make ends meet so that it will encourage participation in the sport at the high school/aau and college levels. The WNBA games themselves can be enjoyable if you have a player who you want to succeed. Or if you are a feminist or ESPN sportscenter anchor/political agenda pusher, the thought that the WNBA exists is an end in itself.

HeadAssClown is the mastermind behind the Brood Of Clowns circus. He created BOC as an alternative for people who aren't douche bags and dislike the typical stupid trash culture. In his free time, he enjoys reading, long walks on the beach, and asian pornography. He has had sex with over 300 women and at least 50 snakes.

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