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Shark-huggers? Some in Tatters Over 1300-lb Shark Killing

Jun 07, 2013 8:26 pm
HeadAssClown By HeadAssClown
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For many, the tender scenes of Steven Spielberg's E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) and A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001) brought tears to our eyes. But how many of us cried at the end of Jaws (1975) when they blew the damn thing to bits?

Apparently some people probably did.

On Monday June 3, 2013 at Huntington Beach, CA, while filming the reality tv show "Jim Shockey's the Professionals", a group of fisherman caught a 1,323-pound mako shark. The weight is thought to be a new world record, and it stretched 11 feet and 8 inches in diameter. Scientists are eagerly waiting the chance to study the animal further.

While most people would probably be amazed by this event or at least indifferent to it, the same faces are always here to rain on the parade in their characteristically illogical way.

First, the usual demonification of males ensues as the LA Times publishes a reader's letter saying "These self-satisfied males are all no doubt six inches taller and far more macho for having killed this lovely animal." Of course, this conveniently ignored that many females enjoy the sporting activity of fishing. Coincidentally, a very feminine lady that HeadAssClown knows recently caught a shark and showed the pictures to everyone.

Next up, the horrible ignorance of hunting gives way to the ignorance of stereotyping people based on the state that they live in. David McGuire, director of the Shark Stewards organization, says, "It's really something you see more in Florida than in California, where we have more of a conservation ethic."

Oh, sorry that we all can't be as smart as you David! Spending all your time on conserving animals that are not aware of their own existence and that we have millions of, while little kids (yes, humans) in Africa starve. Maybe one day we can all have the conservation ethics of you and your Californian shark-hugging friends!

Another LA Times reader writes, "So some yahoo from Texas catches and kills a 'world record' mako shark, yells 'yeehaw!' -- and the media glorify this 'feat.'".

Of course, the word yahoo would be considered hate speech and "the utterance of a slur" if it were directed at another demographic group but, people from Texas, no worries there!

As if enough ignorance had not be spewed already, then they start attacking the human race itself. One reader says that "humans pose a much bigger threat" than sharks. Another says, "People are the most destructive force on this planet". Not to be outdone, another genius says, "I'm humbled by the superiority of the dead animal and embarassed by the pomposity and cowardice of man."

Hopefully, we don't need to exhume Descartes to tell you why this is total nonsense. Animals are organic machines with no self-awareness, in sharp contrast to humanity which actually is aware of its own existence.

But don't forget, the animals are certainly big and pretty, wow! Another LA Times reader says, "God only knows how many years this magnificent creature has roamed the seas to reach more than 1,300 pounds."

So by that logic, the organism has value relative to its size. I guess that means that newborn babies have the least value and that really obese people have the most.

With thoughts like these, I doubt that these people's "conservation ethic" extends quite so passionately to the three newborn babies who were recently murdered by Dr. Gosnell.

While killing a shark is something I personally would never do or condone, are there not worse crimes like the Gosnell tragedy to write letters about and exhibit "record-setting outrage" as the LA Times headline reads? It is just a shark. Let those crazy people mount it, eat it, study it, whatever, and rage about something else.


HeadAssClown is the mastermind behind the Brood Of Clowns circus. He created BOC as an alternative for people who aren't douche bags and dislike the typical stupid trash culture. In his free time, he enjoys reading, long walks on the beach, and asian pornography. He has had sex with over 300 women and at least 50 snakes.

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