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"No Homo" Is Now Off-Limits Per the Sportswriter Morality Police

Jun 02, 2013 8:36 am
HeadAssClown By HeadAssClown
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From the would-be-funny-if-it-were-not-so-sad department, the phrase "No Homo" has now been placed off-limits by the sportswriter morality mafia.
    What was it, Game 3 here? I really felt that I let Paul [George] down in terms of having his back when Lebron was scoring in the post or getting to the paint because he stretched me out so much. No homo. But you know I want to be there for him. He's the future. I mean I think he has a chance to be MVP of this league next year.

- Roy Hibbert, Indiana Pacers
Hibbert said that in the postgame press conference, or the presser as the NBA likes to call it, after his team's 91-77 win over the Miami Heat in Game 6 on Saturday, June 1, 2013. If you don't follow the NBA, Hibbert is a 5th year center, standing 7-2 and making a name for himself in this year's playoffs. Saturday night was the biggest win of his life and, noticably excited after the game, he also told the media "Y'all mother f*ckers don't watch us play throughout the year", explaining why he was not selected as the NBA's Defensive Player of the Year.

While the old mofu bomb will undoubtedly draw some ire, the fever of the day is to prevent anyone from saying anything that could even be remotely considered negative toward homosexuals. Grant Hill, the NBA's most self-righteous player ever (read his book), coincidentally retired on the same day. He had taken aim at stopping us little people from saying horrible things like "that's gay".

The rest of the intellectual trust now has their guns, oops I mean their "efforts", excuse my slur utterence, pointed at the phrase "no homo".

Today, the headline reads "Hibbert uses gay slur, profanity after game". Note that "no homo" gets top-billing and is even worse than "mother f*cker". Condescending columns from their sportswriters aka LGBT-rights advocates will almost certainly follow. reads "Roy Hibbert rips media; Uses homophobic slang". If someone says "no homo", I guess that is just a slang way of admitting that they have a pathological fear of gays right? and also call it a "slur". Like the Mike Rice situation, there will undoubtely be articles of wisdom written by people around the nation who know nothing about basketball whatsoever.

"No homo" is a phrase that largely originated and became famous in black culture and in hip-hop music. It supposedy originated in the 90s, but I only recall hearing it used frequently starting in the mid-2000s. It is just a funny phrase that kids say to get a laugh when they are saying something a little too nice about someone. It is obviously just another way of saying "I love you but I am not in love with you". Lil Wayne and other artists popularized it further.

People who don't know anything about black culture, like New York Times columnists, Slate columnists, Rick Reilly, Grant Hill, etc, just look at this phrase in their anally-retentive and preachy way, without ever considering that it has absolutely nothing to do with bigotry towards homosexuals.

What if a gay person, said "not hetero" and then laughed. Should we extrapolate that he or she is afraid of or hates heterosexual people? I would guarantee that the same people who damned "no homo" would defend "no hetero" as being totally innocent.

Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000 for this type of thing, so you would expect the NBA to try to preserve their face as the rainbow defenders by fining Roy Hibbert. Yes, I do understand that his press-conference was unprofessional, and consider that he and the NBA have a freely entered into employment agreement, so a fine would be understandable.

Still, the compulsive reactions to anything even slightly resembling a swipe at gay culture has gone too far. It does not take a logic king to realize that saying "I am not this" does not mean "I hate this" or "I am afraid of this". These ridiculous reactions undermine the entire effort to get society to treat homosexuals the same as other people, in marriage for example, and other similarly legitimate aims.

HeadAssClown is the mastermind behind the Brood Of Clowns circus. He created BOC as an alternative for people who aren't douche bags and dislike the typical stupid trash culture. In his free time, he enjoys reading, long walks on the beach, and asian pornography. He has had sex with over 300 women and at least 50 snakes.

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