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Clowntable Discussion: The First Openly Gay NBA Player

May 04, 2013 11:50 am
ProfessorWinston By ProfessorWinston
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On April 29, 2013, Jason Collins of the NBA's Washington Wizards publically announced that he was gay. Remember that they are the Wizards, not the Bullets. Oh such a horribly offensive name that was!

Without further adieu, to discuss the critical news and its impact upon society, here is Professor Winston, with a clowntable of HeadAssClown, Smutty, and yes, Bastian.

Gentleman, a significant event occured this week, Jason Collins of the New Jersey Nets announced that he is gay, becoming the first active athlete in a major sport to do so. Thoughts?

Yes, oh so many! He is a role model and pioneer. The NBA should retire #98 for all teams, just like baseball did for Jackie Robinson's #42. Also, Lebron James should be banned from using the nickname "King James", and JC should now be referred to as "King Jason" because he is the Martin Luther King of the LGBT civil rights movement as it relates to the critically important people who shoot balls through hoops for a living.

I always saw Jason Collins as a good guy, since I first learned about him back when he was a highly rated high school player as a junior in 1996, along with his brother Jarron. I don't think he would do something like this to get publicity for himself. Along those same lines, it's not really that big of a deal. I went to on Wednesday afternoon, 5/1/13, and they still had four different articles about this on their front page. Anyone who's ever heard an interview with him over the last 15 years should not be that surprised, any more than they were when Anderson Cooper or Rosie O'Donnell came out.

I agree, you ass-clown! And he is not even the first NBA player to proudly show his feathers in public. John Amaechi made the same 'nouncement back in 07!

That is true, but Amaechi was already retired by then. Collins is the first "active" NBA Player to be gay.

Oh, John is still active!

No, not that kind of active, you dumb-ass. I mean actively playing basketball in the NBA.

Okay guys, the name-calling is unnecessary. Do you think this will have a ripple effect throughout sports and cause more athletes to declare their sexual orientation to the world?

Yeppers! I feel a movement coming on!

Go to the toilet then and spare us your opinions.

Oh damn you clowns! I mean a LGBT rights movement in the NBA. Before long you will have an all-LGBT team named each year at the end of the season, not comprised of the fellas who hit the most hoops, but of the fellas who captured the most hearts as the rainbow tide of public opinion keeps turning that way.

The NBA has already had gay/lesbian promotional nights at games. They have already had commercials by the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy cast...

-not to mention the gayest pregame all-star introductions ever and Bob Costas announcing!

True, but as I was going to say, it's not anything that the NBA and sports have not already stood for. Sports, in its earliest days in Greece, was a way for men of that sexual persuasion to express it and meet others like them. It was not until Rome that it became used more widely as a method of training one's self for war. So, the first openly gay athlete in a major sport was probably a tie between the hundreds of men who started Greek sports. That's not to say that all Greek men of ancient times were homosexuals, but the majority who played sports back then were.

Yeah, but who cares about that, we are here in 2013 America. The smartest culture and time ever. Did the Greeks or Romans invent facebook Mister? Nopper! The fact remains that Jay Collins equals Jack Robinson because he is the first in our sports to come out.

I disagree. Jackie Robinson endured a huge amount of verbal abuse and played baseball during a very contentious time when many people displayed racism. They treated him badly just because of his race, a trait that he was born with. In contrast, Jason Collins never faced any abuse because he only announced his sexual orientation in the 14th year of his
career, effectively waiting for a time when it would be easy. As he said, when the world was ready, and if anything, he will probably benefit from it more than endure any pain or hardship from it.

Another difference is that Jason Collins sucks.

By that verbage Mr. Smutters, I assume that you are analogously referring to his pedestrian basketball skills relative to Jackie Robinson's mad baseball skills. Anyway, back to my original question, do you think that anyone else will come out in the near future?

Oh do tell, I think I heard on Sportscenter that 3 out of 10 NBA Players are gay, or at least privately admit to wanting to play with something other than just the basket-balls.

Well, Smutty's bookie told him to put down a bet on Richard Jefferson, the 4:1 odds favorite.

Haha, good one smutpile, but I actually would not be surprised if Richard Jefferson came out one day. One time they asked him about what it would take for there to be an openly gay NBA player and he answered with a really long and heartfelt answer, like he had been thinking about doing it himself. Also, I heard that Luke Walton and Jefferson were roommates and best friends in college, and there are rumors all over the internet about their relationship, so maybe both of those guys will come out together one day holding hands at the press conference.

Oh dear, if that ever happens I'm sure that Rick Reilly and a lot of the sportswriters will dvr it and watch it over and over again, probably late at night. Thank you clowns and Bastian for your thoughts on this important social issue. Next time we will discuss the first fat-assed marathon runner and remember the career of the first straight men's tennis player, Pete Sampras. Bye for now.

Professor Winston is a senior fellow at BOCU, an imaginary university that he invented when printing out his paper B.A. and Ph.D. degrees. His main focus is history, philosophy, economics, and trying to get the undergrad bitches to sleep with him or use his tail for sex acts.

More articles from Professor Winston:
Christian Heroes: Chundra Lela, From Tortured Hindu to Victorious Christian
Clowntable Discussion: Monday Bloody Monday
Clowntable Discussion: #MeToo...or just #SheToo?
Glances at Prussian History
Clowntable Discussion: Is it Okay to be Gay?

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