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Vlad The Putin! May 2013 Edition - 1 Rockin' Year Down, 5 More To Go!

May 29, 2013 10:14 pm
ProfessorWinston By ProfessorWinston
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On May 7, 2012, Vladimir Putin was inaugurated in the Kremlin for his 3rd Presidential term. You see, there is a constitutional limit in Russia of two Presidential terms, but the former KGB officer billy-clubbed his opponents' collective asses on the technicality that it says "consecutive terms". After being President from 2000 to 2008, he took a 4 year break, serving as Prime Minister while Dmitry Medvedev ran Mother Russia.

Then, Putin won the 2012 election despite all the whining and accusations from the opposition that could possibly be imagined. The difference this time is that he is in for 6 years instead of just 4! Medvedev changed that in late 2008.

So, here we are in May 2013, one year into his new six-year reign, and things are exciting as always for Putin. All his detractors should at least appreciate that he has some personality and isn't the same boring, cookie-cutter politician as are seen in most other countries. After Gaddafi was taken out by NATO and all those kind-hearted rebels (the same ones who fought against the US in Iraq and are now running Libya), it seems that Putin is the last old skool leader in this world of generics.

This month, a humorous event happened in that a Russian guy named Alexei Ustimchuk apparently took a picture of himself sitting at Putin's Kremlin desk, and posted it on dating web sites to impress the ladies.

Maybe it's because Putin was too busy flying around town. A spokesman announced this month that he will now frequently travel from the Kremlin via a Mi-8 helicopter instead of car due to traffic. Typically, people are already finding a reason to complain, saying that they are concerned that the helicopter will damage the historic Russian landmarks.

Former deputy national security adviser Elliot Abrams is also Larry King for launching a tv show on the network RT America. He said that he doesn't see Russia Today as a news network, but a state-controlled station. He said that what they do is not journalism, but promotion of the country's foreign policy. I guess that he has never watched CNN, NBC, ABC, or CBS in the US, and has never seen a oh-so-neutral CNN Presidential debate where the moderator tries to help their one candidate embarass the other.

About foreign policy, it looks like people who were already advanced in the process of adopting Russian children before the ban are going to be able to finalize the adoption., as long as it is finalized by January 2014.

Putin met with South Africa's President Jacob Zuma on May 16, and reaffirmed that Russia will "help create a comprehensive nuclear power industry in South Africa".

Also this month, in the helicopter, Putin met with UK Prime Minister David Cameron, discussing Syria and terrorism.

On May 23rd, Russian Security Council Secretary Nikolai Patrushev visited the US, and relayed Putin's message that he wanted to "expand honest dialogue in all spheres based on mutual trust between our countries", as well as comments about missile defense. Some have argued that the US is being too transparent about their missile defense system, while the Russians say that it is still not enough to allay their concerns.

Back in the Kremlin, Putin scolded many of his ministers and had the images shown on state television. Deputy prime minister Vladislav Surkov was even forced to resign. Putin was doing all this while he was supposed to be meeting with US Secretary of State John Kerry, who had to wait for 3 hours.

By the way, a Russian olympic official that Putin fired on live tv is now claiming that he was poisoned with mercury while in office and wants an investigation. The 2014 Winter Olympics will be held in Sochi, Russia.

At the annual May 9th Victory Day parade, Putin said that Russia is the "guarantor of world security". This day marks the defeat of Nazi Germany.

He said that he doesn't want another war ever but, if there was, would it not be great if trained the whole red army in karate? He is after all a black belt...

Professor Winston is a senior fellow at BOCU, an imaginary university that he invented when printing out his paper B.A. and Ph.D. degrees. His main focus is history, philosophy, economics, and trying to get the undergrad bitches to sleep with him or use his tail for sex acts.

More articles from Professor Winston:
Glances at Prussian History
Clowntable Discussion: Is it Okay to be Gay?
The Second Reich is Forged
Clowntable Discussion: Super Bowl XLVIII Preview and...Tebow FTW!
The Great American Cultural Skill of Watching

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