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Left-wing ESPN Writer Rick Reilly Compares NFL Football to Slavery!

Nov 29, 2013 2:06 pm
HeadAssClown By HeadAssClown
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If you are not familiar with sportswriter Rick Reilly, consider yourself fortunate, but most of us endured his articles in Sports Illustrated magazine for years, and now you can't even check ESPN.com for scores without seeing his latest asinine article on the front page.

Every day, there he is, right next to his fellow hypocrite Bill Simmons. Both of them, while ignorant of anything other than the most base subjects of life such as sports and tv sitcoms, feel it is their place to give their political opinions and be our life coach. Both of them are ultra-sensitive toward issues relating to homosexuality but have no problem taking stabs, in their own incredibly corny way, at Christianity every chance they get.

Most days, I just ignore both of these blockheads, but Reilly's November 2013 article titled "Football getting harder to watch" was just too ridiculous and historically inaccurate to pass up. The front page of ESPN currently has it linked as "NFL: The Guilty Pleasure".

The gist of the article is that this nasty little sportswriter is so morally-inclined that he feels guilt while watching NFL football because some of the players have physicial problems after they retire. For example, millionaire playboy Brett Favre can't remember some of his daughter's soccer games. I would suggest that this was because he was too busy texting nude pics of himself to look up.

But no, Favre with his $100 million net worth is not a lucky one according to Reilly, he is a victim while the "lucky" owners live to be 90 years old (Rick has a list of 3 of them which anecdotally proves it!). Of course, a good liberal like Reilly would never consider that these lucky owners might have furiously studied and worked to satisfy a free market demand in society in order to achieve their wealth. Nope, they are just more genetic lottery winners whom cruel circumstances did not force to become millionaire pro athletes.

Then, comes the real revelation from Reilly the academic. "In Caesar's day, they filled the 50,000-seat Roman Coliseum to watch gladiators compete...They knew the risk. The glory and the money was worth it to them."

He then closes the article by writing, "We are all still in that Coliseum. We are still being entertained by men willfully destroying each other. It's just that now, the sword comes later."

Hey Rick, from someone like myself who has studied Julius Caesar's life tirelessly and read his book 20 times, I will tell you that the majority of gladiators during that time period, as was the case in most of Roman history, were absolutely not those who chose to be so out of their own free will. The gladiators were usually condemned criminals, prisoners of war, or slaves.

Therefore, a modern-day citizen of the United States who has chosen to play a relatively low-stakes sport that rewards him luxuriously, as opposed to the countless other professions available, is not comparable to someone who was forced into a public life or death struggle as a result of slavery. This should be no less offensive than when a politician compares some social ill such as debt to the slavery that existed in the United States before the Civil War. Yes, Rick, you are "Palining"!

The gladiators of Caesar's day could have hardly been said to have been "willfully destroying each other". I think Caesar himself would get a laugh out of that. Most really had no choice other than to kill or be killed. A gladiator's refusal to fight would lead to death, either immediately or through the hard labor slavery alternative, whereas an NFL player's refusal to play would lead to a day of sipping fine wine on a yacht, and ulitimately either early retirement or finding a desk job.

To say that the gladiators knew the risks and were just trying to achieve money and glory, similar to an NFL Football player, is perhaps the most ignorant statement about history that I have ever heard. It ignores that a sizable portion of them were trying to get their freedom or simply survive another day. It trivializes, as mere thrill-seekers, the courageous slaves turned gladiators who lost their lives and absolves the Romans of the ethical wrong.


HeadAssClown is the mastermind behind the Brood Of Clowns circus. He created BOC as an alternative for people who aren't douche bags and dislike the typical stupid trash culture. In his free time, he enjoys reading, long walks on the beach, and asian pornography. He has had sex with over 300 women and at least 50 snakes.

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Article Comments 1-2 of 2

Posted by ProfessorWinston Nov 29, 2013
03:28:16 pm
Smutty, the American Academy of Pediatrics says that a dresser drawer is the next best thing to a crib, after removed from dresser of course. So there is no reason to pity anyone...except the writer who was dumb enough to mention that.
Posted by Smutty Nov 29, 2013
02:59:15 pm
Reilly has a history of this nonsense! If you read his book Fab Five, he spends so much energy just trying to get us to pity the poor 6'7' super athletes. One of them slept in a dresser drawer as a baby and this is cited as a reason why we should feel sorry for him!

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